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Not_an_animal.wav
Paul: "I am not an animal! I'm a human being!"
Not_getting_screwed.wav
Dave: "So for a change, we're not the ones who get
screwed."
Now_heres_dave.wav
Hokie segue music.
O_holy_night.wav
Paul Shaffer doing his famous imitation of Cher singing O
Holy Night.
Obvious.wav
Dave: "Ya know, it must be obvious to even the most
casual observers that I get the answers to life's difficult
questions from the screaming voices in my head."
Oh_geez_my_back.wav
Dave: "Oh, geez, my back is out again! Paul, help! My
back is out!"
Only_thing.wav
Dave: "We're the only thing on NBC right now."
Our_good_friend.wav
Dave: "Now, kids, do us a favor and say hello to our good
friend Paul Shaffer."
Audience cheers.
Owns_nbc.wav
Dave Letterman: "Uh, yesterday, ladies and gentlemen,
General Electric, the company that owns NBC... Ah, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha!"
Radio_waves.wav
Dave: "I know for a fact them radio waves is harmful."
Raking_a_yard.wav
Dave: "Yes, it's the haircut again, Paul. This is the
haircut that makes me look like I ought to be raking a yard
at a state facility."
Rehearsal.wav
Dave: "Yesterday afternoon we're doing our rehearsal...
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
Road_to_hell.wav
Dave: "This ain't no technological breakdown... This is
the road to hell. Ha, ha!"
Robotic_arm.wav
Dave: "Ah, tonight ladies and gentlemen, the presentation
of our viewer mail, as always, is being assisted by the
Westinghouse Puma 206 Access Robotic Arm. Here it is, right
there."
Same_guy.wav
Dave imitating an audience member: "Who picks out your
ties? The same guy who cuts your hair?"
Screw_you.wav
Dave: "Aw, screw you."
Screw_you2.wav
Dave: "Awww, screw you."
Screw_you3.wav
Dave: "Screw you!"
Shirtless_fat_guys.wav
Dave: "Man alive, it's not even May, and already New York
City is clogged with shirtless fat guys."
Show_bidness.wav
Dave: "Ya know, for me, the best thing about being in
show bidness is being able to say, 'Show bidness.' "
Shut_up.wav
Dave: "Hey, shut up, will ya??"
Sick.wav
Dave: "On tonight's program, ladies and gentlemen, we
have something that's gonna make you sick."
Sickening.wav
Dave: "You've already seen that, and yet you still have
something sickening to look forward to."
Snapped.wav
Dave: "No, I'm not talking to you, hey, hey, I'll run the
show, all right? You just, you just sit there and be
entertained, okay?? Ha, ha, ha, excuse me -- I snapped for a
minute."
Some_kind_of_spell.wav
Dave in his sissy voice: "I believe I'm having some kind
of spell!"."
Someone_hep_me.wav
Dave: "Please, someone hep me."
Something_weasly.wav
Dave: "I think there's something weasely going on."
Steinbrenner.wav
Dave: "Steinbrenner sucks."
Still_here.wav
Dave: "Ah, tomorrow on the program, ladies and
gentlemen... that is, if we're still here -- Ha, ha, ha!"
Stop_your_whining.wav
Dave: "Oh, stop your whining or I'll come up there and
slap ya."
Stupid_pet_tricks.wav
Dave: "All right -- Oh! We're going to do Stupid Pet
Tricks. We haven't done this in quite some time, and, uh,
you understand the gist of this. People and their beloved
pets, they come on, they do little stunts, they do little
tricks... This is only an exhibition, this is not a
competition. Please, as always, ladies and gentlemen... no
wagering."
Suck.wav
Dave: "You guys suck!"
Supermarket_finds.wav
Paul singing: "Supermarket finds, exchanging glances,
supermarket finds..."
Swami_music.wav
Paul playing the swami music for the Amazing Kreskin.
Sweet_little_cupcake.wav
Little girl: "I'm a sweet little cupcake... baked by the
Devil!"
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